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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29803881">Mistake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Everybody Dies, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, My First Fanfic, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Slurs, Suicide, The Author Regrets Nothing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:53:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29803881</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>How could something go so wrong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mistake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Trigger warning:<br/>- Sexual content<br/>- Mention of blood<br/>- Violence<br/>- Suicide<br/>- Implied murder<br/>- swears</p>
<p>if any of this triggers you please exit out of this fic &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"B-buck,shit, stop '' Steve managed to pant out against his boyfriend's pink lips. As a low sinful moan escaped from Bucky's lip</p>
<p>Bucky smiled slightly as he sucked on Steve's tongue earning back a loud groan that echoed around the dark alleyway. "Why? You seem to be enjoying it.”" Bucky whispered, separating their lips.</p>
<p>His eyes met Steves.. His pupils were dilated, barely letting his original ocean blue show trough. Steve's lust was  shining through. Bucky connected his lips to Steve's neck, which was covered in a thin coat of sweat that glistened under the bright stars. Bucky lightly bit his neck, drawing out a barely audible groan from Steve.</p>
<p>Steve's eyes rolled to the back of his head momentarily getting lost in the pleasure of Bucky's sinful mouth. He gripped Bucky's hair with his hand pulling on it slightly. Bucky continued kissing, biting, and sucking Steve's neck. </p>
<p>Steve let out a soft, almost feminine, moan as he began pushing Bucky away from him. An attempt that ended up being useless. Bucky groaned and pushed his body even closer against Steve's smaller frame. His hard on bumping into Steve's thigh, causing a shiver to run down Bucky's spine.</p>
<p>"Buck, anyone can see." Steve panted out as he opened his eyes, and would have taken a step back if it wasn't for the wall against him. The intensity of Bucky's gaze made Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Steve wanted to throw away all of his doubt and keep kissing Bucky. But he knew he couldn't.<br/>Bucky groaned and hid his face in Steve's neck nippingsoftly at the skin. "No one will see us" Bucky said, his voice muffled and drawn out.<br/>"You can't guarantee that" Steve looked around the alleyway, only to shift his gaze back onto Bucky content that no one has seen them yet. </p>
<p>“Love, we look like an ordinary couple” Bucky huffed out, shifting slightly against Steve's body.</p>
<p>	“We don’t,” Steve looked up to the night sky, the full moon illuminating the alleyway slightly, “We look like a couple of faggots” Steve huffed out, his voice cracking slightly.<br/>Steve felt Bucky stiffen against him. Bucky straightened up and separated his body from Steves. Bucky stared at Steve, clenching his jaw. Steve’s eyes widened in realization as he took notice of what he said.</p>
<p>Steve noticed that his eyes held a flicker of sadness and anger, but as soon as he saw them they were gone. Bucky smoothed down his features and turned his head looking at the opening of the alley. Steve winced and bit his tongue, he would have preferred Bucky screaming at him or even glaring at him than flat out ignoring him.</p>
<p>"Buck, I'm sorry I didnt mean it li-" Bucky cut Steve off. "You see that's where you're wrong you did mean it, if not why else would you have said it?" Bucky stepped away from Steve and started walking towards the dimly lit street.</p>
<p>Steve stared at Bucky retreating back, logically he knew Bucky wouldn't leave him there alone, yet he crossed a line. This relationship that they had was new, and one of the things Bucky told him, was his disgust of being called that. How he felt less than human whenever someone called him that. Honestly, Steve  wouldn't blame Bucky for leaving him. He would have left himself too. Steve pushed himself off the wall, wrapping his arms around his stomach, and started following Bucky.</p>
<p>Steve stopped walking as his heart began to beat rapidly.<br/>Thump.<br/>Thump.<br/>Thump.<br/>His heart kept banging against his chest.  He couldn't hear anything past it. Steve hunched his shoulders towards himself, making him look smaller than he normally did. His heart felt trapped. As if there was a fist wrapped tightly around it, squeezing it tighter with each passing second. It made him feel trapped in his own body. A prisoner. Steve placed his hand onto his chest, feeling his heart beating rapidly, he wondered is this what a heart attack feels like?</p>
<p>Steve obviously knew it wasn’t a heart attack. . Considering this wasn't the first time it happened, and it wouldn't be the last. Yet this was different. All of those times he had Bucky there to comfort him, to hold him, calm him down. But he fucked up. All of it and Bucky isn't with him anymore.</p>
<p>Steve started walking once again trying to catch up to Bucky, but he had lost sight of him. Steve sighed and looked up to the sky, the moon light barely giving brightness to Brooklyn's dark streets.</p>
<p>He started walking towards their apartment. Or tried to. Did Bucky even want him there anymore? Steve couldn't shake off his guilt, and maybe he was overreacting, but he couldn't face Bucky not yet. At the last second Steve turned around and started walking. He didn't have anywhere in mind to go to, so he just walked.</p>
<p>Steve felt the grip in his heart tightened with each step he took. He was running away from his mistake. Something he never did, wanting to face them head first (which although a blessing, was also a curse Or at least that's what Bucky used to tell him when they were kids.) Steve stopped in his step, he ran his fingers through his soft blonde hair and closed his eyes. </p>
<p>Steve let his arm fall limp besides him, and opened his eyes. He settled his gaze on a 24hour café. Steve started walking towards the café, its bright red neon sign shining the area around it. Once he got close enough Steve read the sign,</p>
<p>"Cat Cafe<br/>24/7"</p>
<p>Steve rubbed his hands together, the cold of the night nipping at his skin. As his cheeks gained a soft pink hue.</p>
<p>Once Steve entered the cafe, he didn't expect anyone to be there, but he was surprised when he saw a group of three guys on the corner table. Steve looked at them out of the corner of his eye, they were considerably bigger than him. Not that it was hard to achieve, but they looked bigger than the average person. Steve walked towards the counter, eyeing the fresh pastries on the glass display.</p>
<p>Steve touched the bell on the counter. He waited, until a red-head emerged from the back room a polite smile adorned her otherwise tired face.</p>
<p>"Hi welcome to cat cafe, what may I get you?" Her words became a little jumbled due to her strong accent.<br/>"Could you get me hot chocolate and a plum pudding, please?" Steve asked, throwing on his face a somewhat polite smile (it was more of a grimace than a smile, really, but at least he tried). </p>
<p>"Sure thing, just wait in that table over there," she pointed to the table that was in front of the group of men. "And I'll bring it over."</p>
<p>Steve nodded. He turned his stare towards the men. An involuntary shiver ran up his spine, he wasn't afraid of them, but there was something off that even Steve knew not to mess with.</p>
<p>He handed the lady his money, noting how he handed her too much. She gave him back his change.</p>
<p>Steve stood up straight, trying to appear tougher, and walked towards the table. He slid into the seat, his back towards the entrance. Steve ran his eyes through the guy that was directly in front of him. He was big. His arms could have had biceps on their biceps if he tried. Subconsciously he shifted his gaze towards his own arm. His arm was skinny, petite, he could wrap all of his fingers around it if he tried. He really was pathetic.</p>
<p>Steve returned his gaze towards the guy, his eyes focusing itself on a tattoo that was on the back of his neck partly hidden by the black blazer he was wearing. Squinting his eyes, he slightly craned his neck forward hoping to catch a better view of the tattoo, with no luck he could only see red on it, nothing else.</p>
<p>Steve slumped back in his seat, while fiddling with his hands he decided to listen in to the conversation. He noted that they were talking in a foreign language, their accent thick and angry.</p>
<p>Steve shifted his gaze towards the table as he let his mind wander. </p>
<p>Was Bucky ever going to forgive him? Did he even love him anymore?</p>
<p>Steve began overthinking everything, hoping that his apology will be enough. After a few minutes passed the lady came back with a hot chocolate and plum pudding inside a brown paper bag. "Here you go, hope you have a good night." She handed him his order and turned around while wiping her hands on her white apron.</p>
<p>Steve silently thanked her, and stood up to leave. He shifted his gaze towards the men, on what he intended to be a quick glance only to be met with a pair of brown eyes glaring holes into his head. He felt as if he was staring into the devil itself. Steve glared back, but it didn't have the effect he was looking for. The guy burst out laughing. Steve felt his face heat up, but he continued glaring at them.</p>
<p>*1"Schau dir diesen Idioten an," He pointed a finger at Steve. *2"Was denkt er wer er ist?" He clenched his jaw, the outline of his tongue could be seen poking into his cheek. As he glared at him.</p>
<p>Steve turned around, squaring his shoulder up trying to look more confident and walked away, his grip tightening slightly on the brown paper bag.</p>
<p>He exited the cafe, the door hitting a bell as he exited. Steve heard the bell again, he tensed up and turned his head to see the entrance of the cafe. Except no one was there. He shrugged it off as sleep deprivation and continued walking.</p>
<p>Yet something felt off. The hairs on his neck stood up, as a gentle breeze swept through the air.</p>
<p>Steve continued his journey through the night, stopping occasionally to look behind him. He just couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was following him.</p>
<p>His mind wandered back to the guys at the Cafe. Steve wondered if they followed him. Yet he doubted it. Sure, their whole appearance screamed dangerous, but who was he to judge? After all they didn't do anything bad per se, just glared at him. And even then that wasn't their fault, they did catch him staring. He would have done the same thing.</p>
<p>Steve could see the dark outline of his, their, apartment complex. He started walking faster trying to even out his breathing. As the soft thud against his chest got faster. His breathing became more erratic and irregular. He stopped and leaned against a wall that was directly in front of the complex.</p>
<p>Steve placed his shaking hands on his knees, his breathing becoming even more erratic. His shoulders started shaking as he tried to breath in. He erupted in a series of loud wet coughs. He raised his left elbow towards his mouth, muffling his coughs. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, Steve lungs felt as if they were shrinking. Saliva was dripping down his chin. </p>
<p>Steve's knees buckled under him, and he slid down the wall. His coughs got louder with each passing second. He could barely breathe. Steve stared at his hand, that was covered in a thin coat of sweat that glistened under the yellow light of the lamp post. </p>
<p>‘I'm useless without Bucky’ Steve thought. His heart felt heavy, almost as if it was carrying the weight of his self hatred.</p>
<p>Steve closed his eyes, until he started wheezing. He couldn't hear anything past his loud coughs. As he opened them he flinched as he came face to face with the buff guy from the cafe. Steve's eyes widened as the realization dawned on him, he weakly tried pushing him away but it didn't work.</p>
<p>The guy laughed, his laugh reminded Steve of a hyena. Unpleasant and annoying. Steve burst into another coughing fit, droplets of saliva fell on the guy's face. He clenched his jaw, and glared at Steve with his blue eyes. </p>
<p>“du wirst dafür bezahlen.”*3 He muttered, his voice filled with rage. His rough calloused hands grabbed Steves shoulders and hauled him up. Steve stumbled over his own feet, he would have fallen  had it not been for the tight grip on his shoulders. He continued coughing and wheezing.  His chest tightening with every breath he took.</p>
<p>Steve punched the guy on his stomach, he felt his thumb snap. The pain was unbearable. The pain began to stretch out from his thumb, towards his hand until it covered his whole arm. White dots covered his vision,  and he coughed shakily. Steve squinted his eyes as he saw the guy looking almost offended that Steve tried punching him. Before he could see it coming a fist collided with his cheek. He groaned, as he kicked his legs wildly not even bothering to look where he was aiming. He just wanted the pain to end.</p>
<p>But the guy didn't stop. The assault continued, punch after punch Steve let out a groan of pain as blood dripped down his chin. He could have tried fighting back. But deep down he felt as if he deserved it.</p>
<p>Steve felt as if he was underwater. The guy was saying something, but Steve couldn't hear him or understand him. He closed his eyes. The headache became unbearable, along with the pain that he seemed to have all over his body. He couldn't do anything. His thumb was broken, and his left hand still grasped the brown bag tightly. Steve felt a tear slip down his cheek, he was so fucking weak. Couldn't even defend himself. More tears started coming like a waterfall. A broken sob echoed from his throat, as he cried helplessly. Deep down he was praying. Praying that someone would come and help him. Save him. Praying for a last chance to say sorry to Bucky. He kept wheezing, hia coughing becoming painful.</p>
<p>Exhaustion overcame Steve as there was another punch to his stomach. He wanted sleep to consume him. At least then he won't feel the pain. </p>
<p>"Hey! Pick on someone your own size!"</p>
<p>Steve let a smile grace his bloodied up face. Wincing slightly the smile caused his broken lip to split open more. He sighed. Bucky would always come and save him. Always. </p>
<p>He might have heard the sounds of a fight echoing around him, but he didn't concentrate on that. He couldn't. Despite all the pain, he was happy to see Bucky, saving his ass once again. And with Bucky's name echoing around his mind, Steve let the sleep consume him.</p>
<p>__________________________________</p>
<p>Bucky panicked once he saw Steve's skinny form leaning against a wall as a guy twice his size beat him up. </p>
<p>Bucky ran down the stairs of the apartment, not caring that the neighbors might wake up. He ran outside as the chilly night nipped at his face . He should have grabbed a coat, but there was no time. Steve was hurt. </p>
<p>He ran towards them getting ready to fight the guy. Now that Bucky was closer he seemed even bigger, honestly Bucky wouldn't be able to beat him up even if he had magical powers. Looking back at this, Bucky will think he should have taken another course of action, mabey called the police, the landlord, anybody. But he didn't, he jumped face first into danger without thinking about the consequences. Who could blame him? His Steve was getting hurt, there was no time for logical thinking.</p>
<p>"Hey! Pick on someone your own size!" Bucky called out, noticing how Steve's body relaxed completely once he heard his voice. They guy turned around his eyes full of rage.</p>
<p>"You know him?" He asked his accent thick, Bucky could barely understand what he was saying. </p>
<p>"No." Bucky lied, “I just don't think you should be beating up people like him,” Bucky shifted his gaze towards Steve's bruised face, blood covered his entire face, his left eye was closed shut as blood dripped from his forehead.</p>
<p>"You tryin' tell me what to do?" The guy stepped closer to Bucky. His fingers curling themselves into a tight fist.</p>
<p>Fuck this. Bucky thought. He didn't have time to talk this out. And frankly he didn't want to.</p>
<p>Bucky punched the guy in his nose. Smiling slightly as he heard a small crunch of his nose breaking. The guy closed his eyes tightly in pain, tears threatening to spill out, as blood flowed freely down his nose staining his white shirt. He opened his eyes and glared at Bucky. He grabbed Bucky by his brown hair and threw him against the wall. Bucky's head made a thud against the wall. Bucky reached up behind his head and touched his hair that was now covered in blood. His blood. Bucky bit back a wince as he felt the pain spread throughout his skull.</p>
<p>Bucky curled both of his hands into fist, one of which was covered in his own blood, and took a swing at the guy. He managed to hit the guy on his neck. The guy glared at Bucky as he coughed up blood. He walked closer to Bucky. Bucky stared at him, his eyes wide, as his pupils darted around trying to find a weapon. He saw a metal piece of pipe that even in the dark, he could tell was covered in rust. Just as the guy got closer Bucky dove for the pipe. The sleeves of his shirt getting torn in the rough pavement. Subconsciously Bucky noted how he was bleeding from both of his arms, just as he managed to grasp onto the pipe. </p>
<p>He turned around and stood up, pipe in hand. The guy was sporting a scowl on his bloodied face. Just as he got close enough Bucky hit the guy in the head. He moved out of the way just as the guy fell unconscious onto the floor blood flowing freely from his forehead. </p>
<p>Bucky dropped the metal pipe and turned his attention to Steve's beaten up form. He ran towards him, he placed two fingers under Steve's jaw. Bucky held his breath as he counted the seconds waiting to hear the soft beat of Steve's heart. </p>
<p>Bucky's hand started shaking, as his own heart beat started to pick up. He slowly lowered his arm, as tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. He drew a shaky breath and brought his ear closer to Steve’s chest.<br/>Please.<br/>Please.<br/>Please.</p>
<p>Bucky kept whispering under his breath. He couldn't lose him. Steve meant everything to Bucky. How would he be able to live with himself if he wasn't able to protect the one person he loved.</p>
<p>Bucky let his tears fall. The tears soaked Steve's bloodied button up. He gripped Steve’s hand tightly, as he sobbed into his chest. </p>
<p>He couldn't save him.<br/>It was too late.<br/>Bucky failed him.</p>
<p>Bucky sobbed as blood mixed with tears, he felt numb. Empty. Alone. The one person he loved was gone, because he wasn't strong enough. Bucky let out a heart wrenching sob as tears fell down.</p>
<p>Bucky shifted his blurry gaze towards the unconscious man. And he just saw red.</p>
<p>____________________________________________________________</p>
<p>Bucky heard the distant sound of sirens. He stared at the corpse in front of him. His wide terrified eyes looked almost doll like, as the red blood ran down his face. His arms were tied behind his back with wires. Bucky walked near the corpse and pulled the rusty pipe from his chest. Even more blood started pouring from the open wound. His blood fell down onto the pavement. It was beautiful. Bucky never understood why Steve always wanted to draw, capture a moment, whenever he saw something beautiful. But for the first time in his life, he understood what Steve meant. He wished he could capture this moment forever. </p>
<p>It was chaotic, yet beautiful. </p>
<p>Bucky stared at it in awe. He let a smile grace his blood covered lips as the sirens started becoming louder. He sat near Steve's body and grasped his hand. </p>
<p>“I protected you,” Bucky whispered into the air of the night, his eyes shining under the moonlight.</p>
<p>In one quick motion Bucky stabbed the pipe through his stomach, Bucky watched as blood poured out of him as the pain became unbearable.</p>
<p>With one last pained breath Bucky whispered, “I’m with you till the end of the line”</p>
<p>What is love, if not beautiful chaos.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Look at this idiot*1<br/>Who does he think he is?*2<br/>du wirst dafür bezahlen.*3</p>
<p>--------------------------</p>
<p>1. This was supposed to be a fluffy little to no angst fic featuring Steve punching Nazi. Where did I go wrong?<br/>2. Loosely inspired by The ballad of Sara Berry and it's quiet uptown.<br/>3. This is my first fanfic/One shot so criticism is appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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